pixel__love

i know more than i should.
oh well.

some one came to work today.
and i was ringing her up and she just
started talking about how pretty i am.

and some other lady came in.
who like ate botox for breakfast and lunch.

it was a good week.
i really like my friends.


most days.

he is the best boy i ever meeted. screw what everyone else thinks about him.

i haven't updated in forever.
cause nothing is new.
or exciting.

me and Lexie face are going to Metric.
and i'm getting her ticket for her birfday.
that's about it really.

oh and Tami's party is tommorow.
soo i'll tell you kids about that.

oh love.
he was in school today.
and it was rather nicee.
i am soooo happy.
what i sweet boy.
maybe we are hanging out at jillys daddies sat.. aww i love that boy.
mehehe

emptypools xx: I had a dream about you last night
crash site xx: WHAT!
emptypools xx: YEAH!
crash site xx: what happened?
emptypools xx: okayy
crash site xx: was the school blown up
crash site xx: ?
emptypools xx: no
emptypools xx: we were on sesame street
emptypools xx: and we met big bird
emptypools xx: and he wanted to rape us
emptypools xx: and then we kicked him
emptypools xx: and then we ran down the street
crash site xx: wow
crash site xx: i love you
emptypools xx: and there were a lot of indians chanting 'no more whites.. no more whites'
crash site xx: ahahahahahahahah
crash site xx: wowwwww
emptypools xx: and then they threw sticks at us
emptypools xx: I was all wtf?
crash site xx: oh gosh..
emptypools xx: and then we ran
emptypools xx: and you fell
emptypools xx: so I helped you up
crash site xx: oh bummer
emptypools xx: and then blue came along
emptypools xx: and gave you a band aid
crash site xx: aw sweeet
emptypools xx: I was all you arent part of sesame street
emptypools xx: and you were just dazed
emptypools xx: you had no idea what was going on
emptypools xx: and then we ran into a house
crash site xx: ohhhh i never do
emptypools xx: hahaha :-)
emptypools xx: after that
emptypools xx: we met elmo and he wanted to color on us
emptypools xx: he was with the indian chant thing
emptypools xx: no more whites
emptypools xx: so he made us black
crash site xx: ewww
crash site xx: nastey
emptypools xx: and then we tried to act all gangster
emptypools xx: and we got shot
emptypools xx: and we died
emptypools xx: the end
crash site xx: 8e7543

so um. 19 days till hes home.
i hung out with jason last night.
it was pretty swell.

let me enphisise this first.
brokyn x needle: because i'll be in pennsylvania from the 1st to the 5th

brokyn x needle: ANYWAY
brokyn x needle: i have some good news and i have some bad news
brokyn x needle: which do you want first
crash site xx: either one
brokyn x needle: pick one
crash site xx: bad
brokyn x needle: the bad news is by december 6th i will be sick
crash site xx: umm why?
brokyn x needle: because i'll be in pennsylvania from the 1st to the 5th
crash site xx: fkjnbvlvcb

brokyn x needle: and its cold there
crash site xx: nooo its not
crash site xx: it is soo warrrmmm
brokyn x needle: under 70 is freezing to me dear
crash site xx: i had a skirt on and it was like .. whoa.
brokyn x needle: it will be cold
brokyn x needle: either way
brokyn x needle: thats besides the point
brokyn x needle: im commin home panda
crash site xx: i knowwwww
brokyn x needle: ive been online all day waiting to tell you
brokyn x needle: bc you were supposed to be excited
brokyn x needle: bc you get to see me
crash site xx: im sorry im still trying to understand this .
brokyn x needle: what is there to understand?
crash site xx: you are going to be here.. .in marple..
brokyn x needle: well broomall to be exact
brokyn x needle: i fly in on thursday 12/1 my flight arrives at 9:30
crash site xx: ig yhrsuiedytg759epytg 5e'iu658t gklfdgb6842q\y5
crash site xx: that is how i feel.
brokyn x needle: as soon as i get to broomall i'll be heading up to marple to see mr. winterbottom and to find you.
brokyn x needle: and ill be tehre until monday
crash site xx: \p[
brokyn x needle: thursday morning-monday night i'll be IN broomall
crash site xx: i cant type im sorry i cant type .. i have the jittreies nowww
brokyn x needle: good jitteries or????
crash site xx: tf
crash site xx: 'yre
crash site xx: your comming homeeeee fSIR"DUytr64
crash site xx: :-D x12873654073y59605467 is my smilee.. its soo big i had to add letters
brokyn x needle: :-)
crash site xx: your really gunna be here?
brokyn x needle: already bought the plane tickets and everything

HE IS COMMING HOME!! DID YOU READ!? HE'S GUNNA BE HERE!!!!! IM TOO HAPPY FOR LJ RIGHT NOWWWWWWWW

crash site xx: hey
brokyn x needle: YES!!!!!!!!!
brokyn x needle: i was just writting you
crash site xx: well keep writtiiingg
brokyn x needle: theres no point now i cam just tell you
crash site xx: tell me what?
brokyn x needle: about my extremely bizarre and sexual [but very fun] dream i had last night
crash site xx: oh god.
brokyn x needle: why an oh god?
crash site xx: because
crash site xx: um .. just talk haha
brokyn x needle: ook...
brokyn x needle: so yea...last night i had a dream that i was with you in some randomn hybrid place that combined florida, broomall, and new jersey all into one scene.
brokyn x needle: we were hanging out and hanving fun but then you decided you wanted to go off and have sex with some other guy [i'm not sure who this guy was]
brokyn x needle: but you obviously thought he was quite cute [by the way he wasn't]
crash site xx: ahahah
brokyn x needle: and so you left
brokyn x needle: to go have ex with that boy
brokyn x needle: and i got angry so i went and found some asian chick and was like "hey amanda is being a bitch and is having sex with someone wanna have sex with me to get back at her?"
brokyn x needle: and she wanted too
brokyn x needle: bc she hated you
brokyn x needle: for reasons that are still unknown to me
crash site xx: [most people do]
crash site xx: cause im a bitch
brokyn x needle: [thats good bc i love you]
brokyn x needle: anway so her and i go to this house [and its your house] but really its my old house mixed with my new apartment and i run into you.
crash site xx: and you were like umm im gunna go fuck this asain whore.
crash site xx: cause i wouldve said that
brokyn x needle: now your alone i guess you were done having sex and you were trying to find a place for you and i to have sex [without the asian] but all you kept saying was "do they bathrooms in lofts bc i need to find a bathroom" and then you opened a door and your little sister was standing there in her pajamas and you asked her if they had bathrooms here and she said "duh..." and pointed to a couch.
brokyn x needle: you and i sat down on the couch and you bit my nose and the asian girl was just kinda standing there.
crash site xx: whaaaat
crash site xx: psssshhhhh crackhead
crash site xx: that almost beats my lobster dream but not quite.
brokyn x needle: then we jumped up and ran out the door [which was more of a curtain really[ and when we got outside i was holding you and we were chest to chest with your legs around my waist and your arms around my neck and you said "now were siamese twins" and we ran across west chester pike
brokyn x needle: then i woke up
brokyn x needle: and really really missed you.
crash site xx: hehe
crash site xx: you are such a silly boy.

i think that in the end only kristina would understand most of what i'm about to write. she has a way of getting it when other people don't. it's all spilled complaints on screen.

for the most part life is good.
but i have this feeling. the kind that can't really be described.
it's not even really a feeling.
because at this point i just don't feel much.
i just don't. i'm not really happy or sad.
i just am. i had hoped it would pass but i guess not.
it won't leave me alone. so i've started drowning it.[saveyourlunchmoneykids]

and brandon hasn't been around in so long.
it's kind of strange. when we first stopped talking
i really didn't know what to do with myself.
but now that he isn't around to talk to
it's kind of lke he never was.
in the begining that bothered me but not anymore.
occasionally we talk when were out cold.


i've got awkward sleeping patterns
and the shittiest of eating habbits.
i either don't eat at all or i eat whats bad for me.
most of the time i jsut don't feel like eating though.
and so i'm starting to get sick a lot.
i get sick because i don't eat enough,
then if i eat normal i get sick because i can't handle it.

i kind of miss the way things used to be.
but at the same time i like my new habbits too.
it wasn't an even trade.
but i promised him i'd stop then broke the promise.
so i promised i'd try.
and so i had to replace other habbits to keep away.
oh well. if he can stop i can stop.

but we are who we are.
and so we'll fall back.
we never were able to keep clean for long.

shes has cocain skin.
and morphines veins.
shes has a cigarette smile
and a heroin heart.

she can't feel a thing and
she doesn't believe in love.
[yetshelovesyou]

i gotta get up to my cousins.
im gunna try reaaaaly hard for next month.

did you ever want nothing to do with some one
but you just couldn't let go no matter how hard you tried?
i honestly want nothing to do with that boy.
in anyway. my mind is like 'dude let the fuck go'
but its so much easier said then done.
oh well. i'll have to find something cheap and fluffy to help take his place.
that or some happy meds.

there's nothing really to write about.
i'm really bored though.
and i went food shopping<3 with my mamma.
hmmm life is really swell right now.
everything is going like perfectly.
only thing thats not perfect is my science grade.
but whatevs. i've got 2 weeks to bring it up.
and um. i love my life.
the weather is good enough to bring eno out in.
and if you walk around sometimes it smells like a fireplace.
and it smells like fall and the leaves are good to play in.
and you can wear sweaters and scarves with little hats and gloves.
ooohhh gosh i love everything.
like hot chocolate with itty bittty marsha-mellows.
eeek. =D

funny night.

i talked to some of my missed people today.
i still miss them though.
here;s the list of them :
+Dizzle.
+Alex Flynn.
+Bean.
+Jason.
+Dan.
+a fag named joe.
+Shawn. sort of.
+Den.
+and Chelz.

i really miss that boy a lot.
and so this is where it stops.
i'm not even gunna try anymore.
sorry kid.

lauren made me a metric cd.
i'm happy mhmm.
thank you laurlove

so i had this amazing dream
about the mall.
and me in lauren in a really big underground cave.
with some huge ass lobsters.
yeah.

p.s.
don't do drugs.